• Thoughts

Fitting In


Disclaimer: this post comes to you, unedited, after a couple of glasses of wine on a Sunday afternoon.

I am a blogger who loves other people’s blogs. I spend hours every week reading my bloglovin feed, watching YouTube videos or obsessively scrolling through Instagram. Being so interested in other blogs could lead to damaging comparisons but, fortunately, I don’t really get too caught up on comparing myself to others as I have never really fitted into the norm.

My first day of primary school I had on a tiny blazer, grey pleated skirt, frilly socks and my blonde hair was cut into a neat bob and I don’t mind saying that I looked adorable. I turned on my pretty patent Clarks shoes and made my way up the garden path to start my new adventure only to reveal my (almost as big as me) black and bright green Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles backpack.

What is the point in this story? Well, even at the age of 5 I was confusing people. First off, being me worked out to my advantage: the girls loved my shoes with the secret key in the sole, the boys thought my rucksack was cool and the fact I knew everything there was to know about Donatello was even cooler.

As we grow so does peoples self awareness and sadly my quirky taste which made me popular at 5  made me a freak by the time I was 15.

High school is a nightmare for a lot of people; it is a period where everyone is trying to find out who they are and some teenagers do this by deflecting their negative feelings about themselves onto others.

It is tough being taunted for being a weirdo when you are just trying to be yourself but, ultimately, battling to find my identity has made me much more self aware and other people’s negativity has built the foundations to my signature ‘fuck it’ attitude.

The ups and downs of other people’s judgement also taught me that I am happiest when I am simply being me as opposed to trying to meet other’s expectations. Accepting that I am a unique character is empowering but still makes me question where I fit in with the world in general but also within the blogosphere.

Despite their varying genres the blogs I follow seem to have a much stronger style than I do, and whether through writing, glossy photography, or video they emulate a certain confidence. I on the other hand have very little idea what I am doing and simply plod along churning out content in the hope that no one notices I am completely winging it. Maybe this is how we all really feel but with so many blogging rules and commandments springing up there is perhaps a certain pressure to look like we have our shit together.

I have also noticed a growing number of posts that talk about the person behind the blog. This is mind blowing to me as my online life is very much a mirror image of my real life. These types of blog posts got me thinking, have I got it all wrong? Should I have created a more composed ‘me’ for the Internet? Is that the thing that makes me different from the bloggers I love to read? How do people do it? I have a hard enough time working out what order to put up Instagram images so my grid doesn’t look like a random pile of pictures I happened to have found on my phone,let alone having the self constraint to put a filtered version of me on the web.

It is like when people ask me what I blog aboutmy answer is usually something like ‘erm just lifestyle shit I find  interesting mainly London, travel, fashion and random things I am thinking” I know it would be easier for people to follow the world of Emma Inks if it was a bit more organised but being focussed has never really been my forte. My mind races constantly with ideas, doubts and wonderment and that is why I write some of it down here. Sharing a little bit of the chaos that goes on in my mind helps me to be more clear and articulate my thoughts instead of them being an overwhelming jumbled mess in my head.

Thankfully there are people out there who share actual nuggets of wisdom, like Frankie who said to succeed at blogging “You can be either useful or amazing, but you must be interesting.”. I try to be useful by sharing my experiences but, to be honest, I am a bit of a jack of all trades and a master of none, so I am not sure how useful I am.

Maybe learning from all my mishaps is helpful in a way as you guys will know how not to do things. As for being amazing, I think most bloggers want to  create content that is engaging and truly their own and I hope that at least some of you find me interesting.

I look at other peoples beautifully curated blogs and social media and feel in awe of their organisation and talent. I look at the white backgrounds, clean bed sheets with cups of tea in hand, brightly coloured flat lays, perfect makeup and the grunge girls that ooze giving no fucks realness, but when I try to take inspiration from any of these things it looks try hard and inauthentic. I never want to come across as a cheap imitation of anyone else so have no other option than to just do me and hope that my unique qualities are relatable to at least someone else.

I don’t really know where or how to fit in or if I am doing things the right way but isn’t that truly what makes the Internet such a fascinating place? Isn’t there room for every kind of person to express themselves?

 

26 comments

  1. Caroline says:

    Yes, yes yes! Completely agree with this. I think whilst there is a place for the flat lays, amazing apartments, perfect lifestyles etc, sometimes it makes me feel very inferior. I’m starting to realise I love blogs with a bit of soul and realness to the writing and that’s what I like your blog for.

    1. Emma says:

      Thank you so much that means a lot!

  2. I love you, you beautiful weirdo. This was a wonderful post.

    1. Emma says:

      You are freakin wonderful!

  3. Leanne says:

    This is something I also struggle with and I don’t think you could ever come across as inauthentic and trust me when I say your no fucks attitude shines through and is one of the things that I admire most about you. As Frankie also said, “You are your own niche” and only you can fill it xx

    1. Emma says:

      Frankie is the wisest of bloggers isn’t she? Let’s keep making up our very own category it seems more fun

  4. MaryamSofia says:

    You’ll never be a cheap imitation of anyone else! You are awesome, so keep on rocking 😀 xo

    1. Emma says:

      Thanks love I will try my best x

  5. Bel says:

    Loved this! I often do the same thing as you have described and look at other bloggers and wonder how everything about them seems so perfect. I wonder whether that has become the sort of accepted way of presenting yourself online now, and whether that will change. I think it’s really interesting how as an audience we sort of expect aspiration and perfection but also want our online role models to be relatable and real? Anyway I think you’re a real gem in the blogging community and your difference and uniqueness is certainly clear! xxx

    1. Emma says:

      Thanks so much for your kind words. I think that there are certain standards for blogging now but as long as you are not a dick I don’t think we should put pressure on ourselves to be a certain way.

  6. OMG, you do you, Emma!! Your blog, your photos, your voice is so authentically you and awesome. Eff those hilarious flatlays and feet-on-bed-with-cup-of-tea-posts! I love reading your blog for your honesty and for NOT looking like 1,000,000,000 other bloggers out there. So, thank you for being you! xo

  7. Great post, Emma. For me, after two years of blogging, I have finally found how I like to blog the most, but it is just a diluted version of me. I am loud and often gregarious, but I doubt it comes across in my writing as I found when I act like me, people ignore it.
    Angie
    http://www.chocolateandlipstick.com

    1. Emma says:

      It is totally all about finding what you are comfortable with sharing

  8. It’s fascinating seeing how the internet as changed. I’m ancient haha and i remember when blogs were real, messy, honest….though often anonymous. Many blog have now become like glossy magazine and brands with all the editing that entails. I never for one minute believe anyone is living a perfect life. Keep doing you it rocks.

    1. Emma says:

      Thanks Lynda, I totally think there is space for everyone on the internet that’s why not everyone has to be glossy

  9. I think blog is a space where you should share everything however you want and feel like. It’s not about fitting in and becoming successful in my eyes, it’s about how good it makes you feel. You should express yourself the way you want to and nobody is perfect and there are no ‘perfect blog’ rules. Be you and be proud 🙂 x

    -Leta | The Nerdy Me

    1. Emma says:

      Totally everyone chooses to express themselves in a different way and that is what makes the internet so weird yet wonderful

  10. erinniimi says:

    You could pretend to be someone else you are not, but a) it will make you miserable and b) no one can keep a charade up for long before it all starts crumbling! I for one keep coming back to read your posts because of how honest/authentic you are, and I love that you have your own style. Keep doing you, lady! xxx

    1. Emma says:

      I love that people like you who I totally respect keep coming back to my blog it makes me so happy

  11. Elle says:

    I loved this post so much Emma, it literally bloody spoke to me! I feel like I am very much myself on my blog (and totally myself on youtube) but of course, there are some personal things that I don’t mention. I totally know the struggles with Instagram, sometimes I’ll spend 10minutes setting up a flatlay, constantly laughing at how tragic my life is. I think the key is that we don’t need to “fit in” just to be ourselves and do what’s right for you! Really enjoyed this lovely.

    Elle
    http://www.theellenextdoor.com
    xx

  12. Milly Y says:

    You are such an excellent human and your blog is one I totally look up to. Keep on doing you, because you do it bloody well <3

  13. themayfairy says:

    I am blogging Yoda. Paint me green and give me a robe, bitches XD

  14. tapeparade says:

    I honestly think anybody presenting life as perfect is either living a completely safe, structured, uninteresting life, or trying to present things that way through composition. I really steer clear of blogs that are like that tbh, mine isn’t like that and none of my friends write blogs in that way either. It’s important we all recognise that blogs on every level are just ordinary people talking about their loves. I love the line about being useful or brilliant as long as you’re interesting – to me that sums it up perfectly. Great post xxx

  15. I love this post, Emma. I genuinely think we’re all trying to find our space on the web and though some may work harder than others, the raw blogposts like these that emulate how real and relatable the person is are the ones that matter in the end. 🙂

    Donatello is the coolest, and so are you.

    Honey x The Girl Next Shore

  16. Iain says:

    I fucking loved reading this as probably summed up my feelings on the whole thing to. From the high school issues to where i fit in, in the blogging area. The whole ‘fitting in’ issue never disappears does it until you finally just dont care!. You get by high school and then uni, then it just starts back up again at a job.

    I have only just joined this blogging field, and found yourself I think through googling ‘scottish bloggers’, to see what people are doing. So you cant be doing too bad in the google search results! Anyway, I have subscribed to your blog as its a good read and seems legit 🙂

    1. Emma says:

      I am so glad you could relate, personal posts are always the hardest to write! Good luck with your blog.

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