The Trip That Sparked Change
I began this year on an epic road trip in America, where Pablo and I spent just over a month on the road covering almost 10 thousand miles! This gave me a lot of time and space away from my daily life allowing me to think with no distractions.
I returned from that holiday not feeling relaxed as I had anticipated, but instead discontented. I had been given a taste of freedom and sitting back at my desk I felt caged.
This trip was not the only big event for 2017 – I also turned 30. Though I am not defined by numbers, with a milestone looming it was a good time for reflection.
It’s so easy to take the life we have for granted and, though the past is firmly behind me, I think it is important to remember my starting point. Looking back allows me to appreciate all the joyous moments, people, and hard work that put me where I am right now and I use this as a launch pad to where I want to be.
Of course life is not all highs and in this time of reflection I realised that though I had it good; a great job, a happy relationship, and a nice home, I couldn’t shift the feeling of being trapped. In hindsight I had felt this way for a while but the problem was that I knew that there was nowhere for me to move onto that was better than where I was working. It’s taken me two years to take the leap but I finally admitted to myself that the only solution was being my own boss!
I had finally admitted to myself what I wanted but I knew that putting it into action would not be an easy task. I was giving up a steady job, with flexibility and an amazing team – for what? I really had very little idea but I knew that I had to follow my creative aspirations. So though practically it made no sense, at some point I had to make the leap from comfort into the unknown.
The catalyst for this change came almost totally out of the blue. About a month after we returned from LA I cried at my desk, not because of my job but at the frustration of feeling such dissatisfaction from my own life. The next day I handed in my notice; on the rare occasion I cry, I know that it’s time for drastic action.
Change Doesn’t Happen All At Once
Most people who know me well are not surprised by my apparent sudden resignation. I have always been passionate and volatile so the unexpected is always kind of expected. Many of my big life decisions seem rash, however, I work really hard to make them happen and this new chapter of my life will be no different.
There has been a lot of presumption that I have been able to leave my job through luck, becuase of my boyfriend, or that it is a phase and I’ll get a ‘real job’ again soon. This is too much of a huge subject to get into in this post but though I know these comments are meant without malice I have found these views pretty offensive, and here’s why:
I have worked my ass off since the age of 14 to create the life I have today and I plan to work even harder on my own pursuits. Hard graft and dedication have got me where I am today, not luck.
Pablo of course supports me in the same way I supported him when he quit his job to start his business, he’s not my sugar daddy – he’s my team mate.
Lastly, just because I don’t get a regular pay cheque anymore does not mean that I do not have a ‘real’ job, this old fashioned view is harmful to many creative industries and is an attitude that needs to change.
Sorry for the rant but this is a big lifestyle and career change for me and I feel like the above views tarnish how hard I have worked to put myself in the position of being my own boss. These changes did not come over night, they took years to put into practice and are still a work in progress.
So what do these changes look like?
As mentioned above I quit my job of 6.5 years with no plans to find a new one.
I’m embracing my creative side and starting my own business selling my art.
I have been concentrating on the way I feel rather than the way I look, which has made my body stronger and helped build my confidence
I am going to prioritise my wellbeing and happiness over what’s expected of me
I’m gonna keep doing things my way even though it might not be the normal way
I am going to try and worry less and put the “fuck it” attitude I have to my style into more aspects of my life
Though growth is more important now than ever I’m not going to bow down to blog comparisons or pressure to fit a certain aesthetic to succeed
There was also a huge unexpected change that took place during my recent trip to New York, but you’ll have to wait to find out more….
And, FINALLY I’ve refreshed the Emma Inks homepage with the help of Shed Collective and I couldn’t be happier with it! Although, this is only step one in improving both my blog and YouTube channel.
I also know that having a plan that involves having very little plan is not the most sensible approach to life but sometimes you have to throw yourself in the deep end and hope that you’re strong enough to stay afloat. I am not too proud to ask for help because, to me, getting someone to throw me a life ring to stop from drowning isn’t a failure, it’s smart survival skills.
These changes would not have been possible without the confidence my blog has given me, so in celebration of change here’s a little gift for you guys; simply fill in the details below and be in with the chance of winning a £30 Lush voucher to treat yourself with.